Friday, October 9, 2009
What's on my mind....
I've been thinking a lot lately about different parenting styles. Now that Kent & I are parents, it's something I think about all the time. Are we going to do the right thing? How should we handle this situation? What if Kensley does this? I just want to do it right....the 1st time. However, I know we all can't be perfect and there is no "perfect" parenting style out there. (too bad there isn't-- the world would be such a better place!) I am the type person that really watches how people parent their kids. I take mental notes. Kensley is still at such a young age, we haven't had to discipline much yet. Just telling her "no no" when she splashes in the dog's water bowl, or telling her to "sit down" in the bath tub. I am a very laid back person and there are some things that Kensley does that I let her do. I don't freak out if she gets the socket cover off. I simply walk over and place it back in. I don't yell at her for anything right now. I truly feel that Kensley is such a happy baby because when Kent and I are with her, we play and laugh and have a good time. (I know life is not going to be happy-g0-lucky 24/7... trust me, I'm not in denial about that) My delimma right now is what to do when we're around people who have a VERY different parenting style than we have. Negativity will not be spoken in our house. Just after teaching kids and being around them so much, you can tell how negative parenting works on them. It's NOT good! .......any advice?
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4 comments:
I think your parenting style has to be altered for that particular child. ...And by what you are willing to tolerate! (because we all know our babies aren't perfect, whether it is hitting, whining or whatever!) I also think your plan will constantly have to be amended because as they grow, they will constantly push the boundaries... it is a clinical way children seek love. Oddly enough, children SEEK discipline as a way of love and attention. I also think that each child will have to be parented different...things that work with baby #1 may not work at all with #2... and sometimes things that work with a boy might not work with a girl. Just be confident in whichever route you and your husband have chosen to take, and try to be open minded because I know that the minute I say I would never do something... I find myself doing just what I said I wouldn't! :)
You and Kent are great parents so don't worry too much. We are all different and that is how we all work together raising our children (well most of us).
I agree with Holly that what works with Kensley might not work with the next baby or with someone else's child. I always respect the parents dicipline or parenting practices when other children are at my house. Where I might pat Hailey on the hand for her doing something over and over again that she knows is wrong, I would never do it to another child...even if I had permission. BUT...in NO WAY FORM OR FASHION should a parent treat their child in a negative way. The email you sent me shocked Chris and I both. It's a hard decision to make. Do you allow your family to be around those situations and allow the negativity to influence your children. Whether the parents are nice to you and your children, they still pick up on it. They can feel the tension, hatred and anger. They see the other little children upset. I don't know the right answer but I try to keep Hailey Grace surrounded in a happy environment with positive people (I know that isn't possible always). She has done no wrong and I don't want her to treat her friends or family in a negative way. I guess I just don't want her to see that yet. I'm sure in school, there will be children who suffer from emotional abuse but it isn't allowed at any age.
Oh wow... I didn't know this started with an "incident". Send me the e-mail. You know I will call it like I see it! :)
Another thing I forgot to add is that they say it takes 10 positives to erase a negative... I'm not sure who "they" are-- but if I have to get on to Maddox I try and use that rule. (although I am sure that my child gets way more than 10X positives than he gets in negatives a day... as do both of yours I am sure)
Hey, first of all I changed my background last night and you changed yours too and we picked the exact same one!!
Ok, Leven and I are both really laid back parents. BUT, I will say, Taydem knows better already.We started popping her hands before she was one, not hard, but enough that she wouldn't do it anymore. My parents raised the 4 of us extremely well. I am going to raise my children the same way I was taught. It helps out a lot when "Daddy" gets on to her, b/c she's scared of his voice and the look he gives her. She responds very quickly to him. I also watch other parents and I can't stand the ones who baby them while trying to get their point across. It will never work and the kid will soon run over them. I also feel that every child is different. If you constantly give your child love, then you will have a happy child.
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